Oil painting on canvas
Although it may not look like it, I’ve been going through a very difficult period lately, which is full of huge and fundamental changes in my life. From day to day, everything changes and becomes its opposite. Everything I thought was certain is no longer certain, and I probably don’t know everything I thought I knew. All of this makes me afraid of an uncertain future. Afraid of not knowing what will happen to me tomorrow. I don’t know how I’m going to pay all the bills or whether I’m seeing my loved one for the last time. Sometimes I don’t even know if what I’m doing makes any sense.
I need to find myself again. I need to find my strength, guidance, self-love, and self-worth. It occurs to me that I no longer perceive the path I am following. I walk on autopilot with my head full of thoughts that blind me and, instead of reality, show me a world full of illusions, lies, and doubts, which then arouse old wounds in me.
It’s very complicated, and it hurts a lot. Nevertheless, everything is as it should be. Life won’t give us something we wouldn’t be able to handle. It all makes us stronger and better. I didn’t choose a simple life and despite all the pain, I wouldn’t want it any other way. It teaches me to live day after day and unmistakably trust that I am taken care of. I have a choice every single moment. I can choose to stay in my head or choose not to listen to those thoughts and be happy. The moments when I stop listening to my ego, I start to see the world in more colors, including all the new opportunities I can take advantage of.
I have all the strength I need to overcome this difficult time. In fact, thanks to everything that’s happening to me, I can find that strength. If it weren’t for all this, I wouldn’t even know how strong I can be. These times allow me to see the beast dozing inside me. I wake it up and ask it to enter my life. Become a part of me. Now that I have it by my side, all the time, nothing will stop me.
Big changes we need to make in order to go for what we want in life make our ego go crazy. It tries to do anything in its power to stop you from doing the change. The bigger the change, the harder it can be. I knew all that before and yet I was having a really hard time. We have to endure these crazy moments so that we can become stronger while leaving the fears, negative thoughts and patterns behind us in the past.